If you have taken the time to slog through that entire video, bravo - it's 4 and a half minutes of one of the best/worst sermons I've ever encountered. Best in that it is memorable and invaluable as a source of comic relief; worst in all other regards.
However, it makes use of one of the more, shall we say, colorful examples of the King James Bible's brilliant usage of the English language...and I'm not being facetious when I say brilliant. OK, "him that pisseth against the wall" is perhaps a smidge ridiculous, but the KJV is one of the three most important works in the history of the English language, right up with the works of Shakespeare and The Canterbury Tales. That trio made the modern English language - it cannot be denied.
And...I love the King James. There, I said it. I am about to embark on a Ph.D. in New Testament, fully aware of the (in many instances) poor quality of the KJV as a translation of the original languages, fully aware of how its translators lived long before the wealth of early manuscripts that have been discovered in the last century and a half and thus had to make do with the Textus Receptus (which is a relatively poor version of the New Testament that strays significantly from what is likely to be the earlier, most original text)...and I get that. I don't make extensive use of the KJV as a scholarly tool. It is not the primary text I sit down with for my sermon prep. But...I love it just the same.
There is a majesty and timelessness to the King James that no other translation of the scriptures in English possesses. It is beautiful and poetic; much more than most modern, much more accurate translations, the King James Bible SOUNDS like holy scripture. Perhaps that's because of several centuries of social conditioning to expect scripture to sound like the King James, but nonetheless, when I hear the King James, I hear the voice of centuries of faithful people joined with the words on the page. Maybe it's the historian in me.
I mean, let's compare - the 23rd Psalm from KJV versus the 23rd Psalm from the NRSV (used in most ELCA congregations) and the CEB (the most recent, most intentionally modern translation). For the record, I deeply appreciate all three of these translations.
KJV:
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
NRSV:
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. He leads me in right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff— they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord my whole life long.
CEB:
The Lord is my shepherd. I lack nothing. He lets me rest in grassy meadows; he leads me to restful waters; he keeps me alive. He guides me in proper paths for the sake of his good name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I fear no danger because you are with me. Your rod and your staff— they protect me. You set a table for me right in front of my enemies. You bathe my head in oil; my cup is so full it spills over! Yes, goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the Lord’s house as long as I live.
See the difference? Feel the difference? The NRSV is much more accurate to the original text, and the CEB feels more like natural, 21st century North American spoken English...but the King James feels sacred and timeless, and there is NO contest as to which has more literary value.
All this said, I would never introduce the KJV as the primary text for Sunday worship. NRSV or CEB all the way...I'd even contemplate the ESV over KJV because, even though I find the ESV's intentional lack of sensitivity to gendered language (which then renders certain parts of the text LESS accurate in contemporary English), it maintains a sense of the poetic nature of KJV while still being in modern English, and has used more recent presentations of the original Greek New Testament than the Textus Receptus. KJV, for all its timeless beauty, is still not the translation which is closest to the original texts, and I value that for public proclamation.
But...think of what a poorer language English would without having been shaped by the KJV! In an age where txtspeak is murdering the beautiful intricacies of English, I wish I could put a KJV and copy of the Complete Works of Shakespeare in every single house and mandate that everyone must spend 15 minutes a day reading each of them. As a family, at that...teach your children well.
So, I invite you - join me in a crazy challenge. Fifteen minutes a day with King James, starting at Genesis 1:1 and not stopping until Revelation 22:21. Slogging through it. Sticking with it. Not caring about how long it takes, but just reveling in the joyful challenge of it, and celebrating when it comes to a glorious end. Let's do this; let's grow our faith AND our depth of appreciation for the English language!
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